TasedBro

What no yellow for friendship?

Translation: Love her? let her protect herself.

In a genius move by TASER International, the female-friendly Taser C2 will be available to consumers just in time for Valentines Day. But these tasers aren’t being marketing to women, however. They’re being pushed to men as gifts for their special little victims-to-be. Why not let your girlfriend know how beautiful she is by telling her she’ll surly be the top choice of predators lurking in dark alleys, sidewalks, and parking garages everywhere. And if they don’t make a move, stun ‘em anyway for being so blind to her tempting radiance.

How exciting would it be for a woman to receive on of these for Valentines. Nothing gets a girl in the mood quicker than imagining the countless would-be sexual predators she’ll be fending-off. But I suppose the type of guy who’d buy one of these for Valentines is probably no Anderson Cooper himself.

But maybe we’re being too hard on TASER. Science tells us that for a woman to be able to orgasm, activity in the amygdala and hippocampus, areas in the brain responsible for fear and anxiety levels, need to drop. Perhaps the added protection of a taser should accomplish just that task. I mean just look at the picture used on the website. Looks like that new taser dramatically dropped her fear and anxiety.

I’m not sure who came up with this sweet marking angle, but I’m pretty confident high-fives all around the room were mandatory. Well played, TASER, but you are forgetting very important guidelines for romantic non-lethal protection devices:

Remember these, and you’ll do just fine.

Tags: TASER International, Valentine's Day