Taser No Match for Grandma
Posted by Ryan at 2:40 pm.
It looks like the taser has become the weapon of choice for taking down the elderly in Speake, Alabama. Only this time, one grandma was armed with another wacky electrical-device–a phone.
Because if you buy one, it might break.
The cops aren’t releasing too many details, but a man broke in when the old lady stepped outside to fix a porch light. After forcing his way in, the man actually tased her, at which point she struck him with a phone. Judging by the circumstances, it was probably an old rotary-phone she’s been renting from Alexander Graham Bell himself since 1902. Cops are unsure how the old lady was able to fight back after being tased:
“She thinks she was hit,” Mitchell said. “Why it didn’t put her down, we don’t know. Then she used the telephone as a weapon and fought back. The man ran off.”
If they’d do their research it would be pretty clear that tasers are useless against old ladies. In fact, electric-shocks are exactly what the elderly thrive on. According to Pulvermacher’s Electric Belts & Co., Electricity is Nature’s Chief Restorer. Now I don’t know any chiefs that need restoring, but Pulvermacher’s is a name I can trust. Not only was grandma NOT paralyzed by the shocks, she was grew 40 years younger, 5 inches taller, and those bowel complaints were reduced dramatically by the magic of electricity.
Why you’d risk facing that sort of danger just for a couple of Werther’s Originals is beyond me.
Also, the intruder is un-identified, but judging by past intruders, it was probably just a cop.
